Plano Divorce Lawyers Blog

Because of the increase in high conflict divorce, many family law courts in Texas, and particularly in Collin County, are appointing parenting coordinators or parenting facilitators to work with the parents in developing and maintaining a parenting plan. Generally, the judge will ask the divorce attorneys to agree to the person who will serve as the parent coordinator or parent facilitator. If the attorneys are unable to agree, the judge appoints that person. Parents and family law attorneys, in determining who to ask the judge to appoint, should be very careful to make sure that the person appointed in their case is qualified to serve in that capacity. While the qualifications for a parent coordinator are fairly easy to meet, those for a parent facilitator are much more stringent. Parent facilitators are required to have much more training than a parent coordinator is required to have.

The laws governing parenting plans, parenting coordinators and parenting facilitators can be found in the Texas Family Code, chapter 153, subchapter K. The qualifications of a Parenting Coordinator can be found at Tex. Fam. Code sec. 153.610 and the qualifications of a Parenting Facilitator can be found at Tex. Fam. Code sec. 153.6101. Any person who has at least a bachelor's degree in counseling, education, family studies, psychology or social work or who is an attorney can be a parent coordinator so long as that person gets some additional training in the areas of family violence dynamics, dispute resolution techniques such as mediation, and family dynamics, child development and the laws governing family law matters. In contrast, a parent facilitator must be a licensed social worker, licensed professional counselor, licensed marriage and family counselor, psychologist or an attorney. Being licensed is the important difference in the qualifications of a parent facilitator as compared to a parent coordinator. Additionally, a parent facilitator must receive training, not required of a parent coordinator, in the laws that govern parenting coordination and parenting facilitation and in the different models of procedures. Thus, if the judge determines that the parties should go to parenting facilitation, the parents and their attorney need to make sure the person appointed is licensed as required by the statute and has obtained the additional training.

Sharon Easley, as one of the only family law attorneys in Collin County who is also qualified to be appointed by a court as a parent coordinator or a parent facilitator, cautions other family law attorneys and their clients to make sure the person they choose has experience in handling high conflict custody cases, because most situations where a parent coordinator or a parent facilitator is needed fall into that category of family law matters. Additionally, parenting coordination and parenting facilitation are particularly necessary when a parent seeks to modify a custody order or modify an order for possession and access contained in the final divorce decree. High conflict custody cases are the ones that require the most time in a family courts. For that reason, the parents in such cases benefit most by in parenting coordination or facilitation because conflicts are often resolved without the need for court intervention.

The differences in the duties of a parent coordinator and those of a parent facilitator will be discussed in future articles.

The lawyers of the Plano-based Family Law firm of Easley & Marquis believe that both parents should have loving relationships with their children. Sharon Easley, who frequently represents parents who are concerned that their children are being alienated from them by the other parent, has found that children of divorced parents are frequently the victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). She has worked diligently to encourage family court judges to consider more creative solutions when the signs of parental alienation are present.

Parental alienation is the action of one parent in an attempt, even if subconscious, to turn the children against the other parent. Parental Alienation Syndrome is the result of the conscious or unconscious efforts of one parent to alienate the children from the other parent. This alienating behavior may start during the divorce process itself or begin later, such as upon the remarriage of one of the parents. Sharon Easley, a partner of Easley & Marquis, is a seasoned attorney specializing in all areas involving child custody matters, including PAS.

The affects of PAS are devastating to both the children as well as the alienated parent. One of the most significant signs in a child that one parent may be alienating that child from the other parent involves unexplained and unwarranted anger by the child toward the potentially alienated parent. Other warning signs of PAS, which were developed by Dr. Douglas Darnell, include the following actions by the alienating parent:

• Blaming the other parent for the divorce or financial difficulties;
• Barring or trying to bar the other parent from the child's activities;
• Allowing the child to choose whether or not to see the other parent;
• Providing the child details of the divorce;
• Encouraging the child's anger toward the other parent;
• Asking the child to spy on the other parent;
• Eavesdropping on phone conversations between the child and the other parent;
• Acting sad when the child enjoys time with the other parent;
• Arranging activities that interfere with the visitation schedule; and
• Preventing or trying to prevent access to school and medical records.
• Preventing or trying to prevent access to school and medical records.

A post-divorce case in which several PAS warning signs were present was recently handled by the Plano-based family law firm of Easley & Marquis. In that case, the father, who had been living a great distance from the children, sought and was awarded temporary custody of the children. While the case was pending, the mother, with whom the children had been living, communicated with her children about ways to make their father angry, encouraged them to talk disrespectfully to him, and called their friends' parents and made false claims about abuse by the father toward her and the children. The Texas judge, who was very familiar with the research on PAS, interviewed the children, who told him they hated their father and wanted to return to live with their mother in Texas. Following the trial, the judge suspended all of the mother's access to the children for 90 days to give the father an opportunity to re-establish his bond with the children. The judge advised the father that he would order that the children return to Texas at the end of the 90 days, if they still wanted to live with their mother.

A judge making such an order has been a very rare occurrence in Easley & Marquis' experience in handling custody disputes. His ruling in this case, however, was very successful for their client and the children. After the children had the opportunity to get to know their father better without interference by their mother, they told the judge they realized their mother had been trying to make them hate their father and they now wanted to continue living with their father. He was awarded permanent, primary custody.

Parents should remember, that PAS does not occur overnight. The case discussed above lasted several years and was very expensive for all the parties involved. To minimize the effect of parental alienation, therefore, if you observe any of the above-mentioned signs, you should act immediately to address this disturbing behavior, whether that be through counseling with a therapist knowledgeable about PAS or through the courts. The lawyers at Easley & Marquis have successfully tried cases involving PAS and work diligently to prevent any further alienating behavior. The road to a successful conclusion, however, is very long, especially when the alienation has been occuring over a long period of time.

From the beginning of their family law practice, the lawyers of Easley & Marquis have made the best interest of children a top priority. They have done this for good reason.

Children are the unintended victims of divorce. They do not ask for the divorce. They often feel pulled to take sides. Even though they love both parents, they generally do not want to choose one parent over the other. If asked, most children will tell you that they wish their parents would get back together.

Even adults, whose parents were divorced during their childhood, will tell you that they wish their parents had been able to get along and stay married. The desire of children for their parents to get along and stay together is true for the many families we represent, whether it's in one of the Collin County towns, such as Plano, Frisco, Allen, McKinney or Wylie, or in Dallas or Denton Counties. We feel confident the same is true for children of divorce everywhere in the country.

The negative impact of divorce on children does not always show up during the divorce. They may continue to perform well in school while the divorce is ongoing and, later, show the signs of stress and anxiety they have felt while the divorce was pending. In fact, studies have shown that the impact of divorce frequently does not show up until much later in the lives of these children. For example, children of divorce receive far less help paying for college expenses than children whose parents are not divorce, which can impact their ability to be self-sufficient adults. Other studies have shown that children of divorce do not perform as well in school,particularly in the area of mathmetics, and do not have as developed interpersonal skills as those whose parents have not been divorced

At Easley & Marquis, we encourage parents we represent, particularly those who are involved in a high conflict cutody dispute, to stay focused on the best interest of the children at all times. We show them examples of how a parent, unintentionally, can say things to a child or in the presence of a child that could be considered parental alienation.

Children love the attention of their parents and they learn quickly how to manipulate a parent with that parent's need to one-up the other parent in a custody dispute. The result often will be that the litigation becomes even more expensive and emotionally charged because now the parents are accusing each other of parental alienation. Social studies will be ordered. Everyone will be sent to counseling. The divorce process will take longer and be more expensive. No one "wins" in those situations.

Parents will continue to get divorced. Children will continue to be negatively impacted. That is not going to change. However, parents can choose to take a path, whether it be through collaborative law or just using good judgment and good behavior during the divorce, to focus honestly on what the children need rather than what serves their own purposes.