Plano Divorce Lawyers Blog

The lawyers of the Plano-based Family Law firm of Easley & Marquis believe that both parents should have loving relationships with their children. Sharon Easley, who frequently represents parents who are concerned that their children are being alienated from them by the other parent, has found that children of divorced parents are frequently the victims of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). She has worked diligently to encourage family court judges to consider more creative solutions when the signs of parental alienation are present.

Parental alienation is the action of one parent in an attempt, even if subconscious, to turn the children against the other parent. Parental Alienation Syndrome is the result of the conscious or unconscious efforts of one parent to alienate the children from the other parent. This alienating behavior may start during the divorce process itself or begin later, such as upon the remarriage of one of the parents. Sharon Easley, a partner of Easley & Marquis, is a seasoned attorney specializing in all areas involving child custody matters, including PAS.

The affects of PAS are devastating to both the children as well as the alienated parent. One of the most significant signs in a child that one parent may be alienating that child from the other parent involves unexplained and unwarranted anger by the child toward the potentially alienated parent. Other warning signs of PAS, which were developed by Dr. Douglas Darnell, include the following actions by the alienating parent:

• Blaming the other parent for the divorce or financial difficulties;
• Barring or trying to bar the other parent from the child's activities;
• Allowing the child to choose whether or not to see the other parent;
• Providing the child details of the divorce;
• Encouraging the child's anger toward the other parent;
• Asking the child to spy on the other parent;
• Eavesdropping on phone conversations between the child and the other parent;
• Acting sad when the child enjoys time with the other parent;
• Arranging activities that interfere with the visitation schedule; and
• Preventing or trying to prevent access to school and medical records.
• Preventing or trying to prevent access to school and medical records.

A post-divorce case in which several PAS warning signs were present was recently handled by the Plano-based family law firm of Easley & Marquis. In that case, the father, who had been living a great distance from the children, sought and was awarded temporary custody of the children. While the case was pending, the mother, with whom the children had been living, communicated with her children about ways to make their father angry, encouraged them to talk disrespectfully to him, and called their friends' parents and made false claims about abuse by the father toward her and the children. The Texas judge, who was very familiar with the research on PAS, interviewed the children, who told him they hated their father and wanted to return to live with their mother in Texas. Following the trial, the judge suspended all of the mother's access to the children for 90 days to give the father an opportunity to re-establish his bond with the children. The judge advised the father that he would order that the children return to Texas at the end of the 90 days, if they still wanted to live with their mother.

A judge making such an order has been a very rare occurrence in Easley & Marquis' experience in handling custody disputes. His ruling in this case, however, was very successful for their client and the children. After the children had the opportunity to get to know their father better without interference by their mother, they told the judge they realized their mother had been trying to make them hate their father and they now wanted to continue living with their father. He was awarded permanent, primary custody.

Parents should remember, that PAS does not occur overnight. The case discussed above lasted several years and was very expensive for all the parties involved. To minimize the effect of parental alienation, therefore, if you observe any of the above-mentioned signs, you should act immediately to address this disturbing behavior, whether that be through counseling with a therapist knowledgeable about PAS or through the courts. The lawyers at Easley & Marquis have successfully tried cases involving PAS and work diligently to prevent any further alienating behavior. The road to a successful conclusion, however, is very long, especially when the alienation has been occuring over a long period of time.

From the beginning of their family law practice, the lawyers of Easley & Marquis have made the best interest of children a top priority. They have done this for good reason.

Children are the unintended victims of divorce. They do not ask for the divorce. They often feel pulled to take sides. Even though they love both parents, they generally do not want to choose one parent over the other. If asked, most children will tell you that they wish their parents would get back together.

Even adults, whose parents were divorced during their childhood, will tell you that they wish their parents had been able to get along and stay married. The desire of children for their parents to get along and stay together is true for the many families we represent, whether it's in one of the Collin County towns, such as Plano, Frisco, Allen, McKinney or Wylie, or in Dallas or Denton Counties. We feel confident the same is true for children of divorce everywhere in the country.

The negative impact of divorce on children does not always show up during the divorce. They may continue to perform well in school while the divorce is ongoing and, later, show the signs of stress and anxiety they have felt while the divorce was pending. In fact, studies have shown that the impact of divorce frequently does not show up until much later in the lives of these children. For example, children of divorce receive far less help paying for college expenses than children whose parents are not divorce, which can impact their ability to be self-sufficient adults. Other studies have shown that children of divorce do not perform as well in school,particularly in the area of mathmetics, and do not have as developed interpersonal skills as those whose parents have not been divorced

At Easley & Marquis, we encourage parents we represent, particularly those who are involved in a high conflict cutody dispute, to stay focused on the best interest of the children at all times. We show them examples of how a parent, unintentionally, can say things to a child or in the presence of a child that could be considered parental alienation.

Children love the attention of their parents and they learn quickly how to manipulate a parent with that parent's need to one-up the other parent in a custody dispute. The result often will be that the litigation becomes even more expensive and emotionally charged because now the parents are accusing each other of parental alienation. Social studies will be ordered. Everyone will be sent to counseling. The divorce process will take longer and be more expensive. No one "wins" in those situations.

Parents will continue to get divorced. Children will continue to be negatively impacted. That is not going to change. However, parents can choose to take a path, whether it be through collaborative law or just using good judgment and good behavior during the divorce, to focus honestly on what the children need rather than what serves their own purposes.

The Plano-based Family Law firm of Easley & Marquis is committed to making sure that children from divorced families have relationships with both parents. When a new client with a Child Custody matter comes to Easley & Marquis, the case is usually referred to Sharon Easley, who immediately begins to assess the case for evidence of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). When evidence of PAS is present, Sharon knows that the "fight" to insure that her client has the opportunity to have a quality relationship with his or her children, after divorce, will be very tough and require very specialized treatment in order to succeed. The following is an example of one such case in which Easley & Marquis succeeded in stopping a mother from alienating her children from their father, who was ultimately awarded custody of both of his children by a Family Court judge in McKinney, Texas.

The case came to Easley & Marquis when a father, who lived in Wisconsin, was contacted by Child Protective Services (CPS) in Plano, Texas, and told that his children's living environment was being investigated and that they might be removed from their home, which was also in Plano, and placed in foster care somewhere in Texas. Child Protective Services had become involved when the older child, a boy about 12 years of age at the time, called to report that his mother and step-parents were fighting and that the fight had become physical. The other child, a girl, was only 11 years old.

The history of the case is that the parents were divorced in another state and the mother, who had primary custody of the children, had moved to Plano, Texas, a few years before the Plano Law Firm was contacted. The mother was remarried and had another child by that marriage. After she moved to Plano, the father moved where he could find employment, which was not in Texas.

The father and mother did not get along and the father had experienced a great deal of difficulty seeing his children after their move to Plano. He was frequently told by the mother that the children did not want to go see him, she would tell him they had other plans and she would not make let him talk to them on the phone. The father learned during the case in Texas that the mother had also told the children many bad things about him, such as that he abused alcohol, that he was physically and mentally abusive and that he did not love his children. Alienating parents frequently say bad things about the other parent to their children, even if untrue.

After a very long process that included a custody evaluation, the father was awarded primary custody of the children. That was not the end of the story, however, and was not the end of the mother's efforts to alienate the children from the father. For several months, she consistently e-mailed and called the children, making very negative and derogatory statements about their father. He became suspicious and recorded some of the calls and was successful in downloading some of the e-mails. (Before deciding to record telephone calls between your child and another person, you should read articles on illegal wiretapping and consult with an attorney.) In this case, the father had a "good faith" belief that he needed to record the calls. In one of the recordings, the mother advised the children to turn the air conditioning temperature down so the father would get mad at them and send them back to Texas. There was another trial at which the father asked that the mother be punished for her bad behavior. The judge met with the children, who told them they wanted to live with their mother in Texas, and listened to all the evidence of what the mother had been doing, including listening to the recorded telephone conversations.

After that trial, the judge suspended all contact with the mother for 90 days so that the father and the children could have an opportunity to bond. He told the father, however, that if the children still wanted to live in Texas with their mother, he would allow them to return at the end of the 90-day period. After the 90 days, the children changed their minds and said they wanted to stay with their father. The mother would not give up and yet a third trial occurred, following which the children were allowed to stay with their father. They are now living happily with their father, who allows them to see their mother whenever they want to see her.

Easley & Marquis has been handling cases where "parental alienation" is a factor in child custody disputes for a very long time. Some of the family law attorneys at our Plano law firm have become very experienced in handling cases where one of the parents is intentionally alienating the children from the other parent. Sometimes the alienation becomes so extreme that the children align themselves with the alienating parent against the non-alienating parent. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a factor when the alienation reaches the point where the children are aligned so completely with the alienating parent that they desire no contact with the non-alienating parent and will actually join in the alienation.

Sharon Easley is a founding member of the firm and she is the attorney who has the greatest amount of experience in handling these kind of cases. Kelly Hurt and Brittney Moon are additional attorneys with the firm who work very closely with her to make sure clients who are the victims of parental alienation get the best possible representation. These three women are very passionate about doing everything they can as family lawyers to make sure children have quality time with both parents and that a parent who seeks to use the court system to alienate the children from another parent fails in that effort.

The Easley & Marquis lawyers will be posting entries on the subject of parental alienation and their experience in this very special area of family law over the coming weeks. If you have questions that you would like answered or have stories to tell about your own experiences, please share them with our readers.